Posted in Family

Bad dream

I dreamt my Mom was sent to a super nice, upscale hospice but then totally didn’t want anything to do with me even though I made everything happen the way she wanted. She wanted my siblings instead. I didn’t understand since according to her recollections of the last few months there is little they have done. It made no sense. I was so distraught over it. My siblings tried explaining but I didn’t want to hear it from them.

I went for a walk and the place was on fire when I returned. I was so sad and upset because we ended on such bad terms. I saw her later but angelic-like. I could see her as my Mom but also as this spirit that was tall, white but opaque and beautiful. She came to reassure me that we didn’t end on bad terms but needed to help my siblings more and we were all right. She hugged me, said I love you and went up into the sky in the sunlight.

I woke up upset and sad. Why do I keep dreaming of her dying? I do wish they had been nontraumatic and uneventful but that’s not how it happened. Why is that so hard to deal with?

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