Apparently that was me hitting rock bottom. I hope I never do that again. I pray I don’t. Things have been improving. My husband was right: I was preventing myself from feeling. I just kept telling myself it was ok to be happy and last week I felt like it all week. I also told myself ‘You don’t have to feel sad. It’s ok to feel sad but not a requirement.’ I’ve also got a doctor appointment with a psychiatrist the afternoon for my ADHD meds which I hope he gets me, not much has changed regarding my original evaluation. I’m happier with my personal life regarding husband and child, and ny Mother-in-law and i are closer but otherwise no.