Warning: This poem contains vulgar language/curse words. Thank you.
and leave me alone shut up and leave me alone damn it! shut the fuck up and leave me the fuck alone I'm lost in a world all my own lost in the swirls of my hidden anger all I want to do is scream, yell and hit whether it be me or someone else I don't know I want to be normal but original I want to be accepted instead of an outcast I want to be left alone but not I want to be liked instead of annoyed I want to be appreciated rather than picked on I want to be me than be what people wish me to be I'm lost in a world all my own one I created so I could hide one where it doesn't matter what I do doesn't matter what I say or how I act they understand they see and there's not need for violence even though I am Sometimes I want to scream at people Somedays I want to hit them I want to throw them against the concrete and see their blood stain the ground Sometimes I want to do it all No Sometimes I want to just yell at them I want them to hear me instead of my tones and intensities I want them to see me instead of my reactions I want them to look at me and see I am trying to be who I am than some piece of fakeness like them I know I can be wrong I know I can be bad and harmful everyone is we make choices that tell us who we are mistakes we learn from Sometimes I want to disappear but be able to see how everyone reacts to be know whether or not they care whether or not I truly matter If they miss me because I'm not there for them to annoy but miss me because they care [sighs] I'm lost in this protective shell that I created none can get past it unless I want them to I try to be open and caring most of the time I am but the few times I'm not I see that person and revolt I don't like to not care I want to care I do care and show it but I don't want to be easy prey "Victim here! Victim here" is what I should cry out instead of fight that's what I am most of the time the used and abused the submissive and easily betrayed I trust to easily and I know it but there are only two things constant in life that I've learned: change and death Originally written 24 Oct 2003