Posted in Family, Life, napowrimo, Poems, Writing

The First Grief

A constant sorrow
Streaming tears turn to rivers
The heartache–NO
The heartbreak, endless
Darkness calls to you that violent, never-waking slumber
A selfish peace, you seek
A false hope in the surrounding blackness
Nothing but silence meets your wailing cries
The only way out
The only way to see her again
Oh, a pain none would wish on their worst enemy

It will get better, Little One, I promise
That’s what they all say
Just keep trying
Sometimes there seems to be no end
Take it one day at a time
What of the next minute?!
Just breathe to get through the moment and step away from the reminders
….
Take a break from reality
Speak, speak, Little One
There are those who only wish to help and listen-Let them!
It’s ok to let yourself laugh and be happy-Give yourself permission!
Do not drown in grief or sorrow
Be happy for her
She has moved on to the next Great adventure
She is always near even though you cannot see her or hear her like before
She is still there, feel her surround you
Dream of her, Sweetheart
Speak to her then
She is always near and listening
She is ever-helping, ever-loving you and yours
Embed her in your heart
Keep her there forever

Grief and heartbreak are like a tsunami
That first blow is so devastating and sudden
The first time, you shatter-completely breakable
Never knowing it before
Unexpected, unwanted
The destructive waves continue for so long
Drowning, reaching to break the surface
One breath, just one-that’s all you want, all you need
A break in the constant downpour
When will it stop?!


And the you reach it.


That one break
That one breath
The momentary, startling peace and calm
Uncertainty written on your face
Now what?
The future is so uncertain-So-o “Un”
All those future plans are gone
Left to be rewritten without her
The ache lingers but, like so many things, you get used to the pain and loss
Some days
Some days the sadness makes you so weary but you remember
Just breathe to get through the moment
It works!
The advice is true!
The strength to pick up and continue are there
Never knowing how strong you are
The refreshing, gladdening moment
You know you can do this
You know now things will get better
You have to make them better

See, Little One, there is a light in the darkness
Just remember: darkness is only the absence of light

 

Originally written October 31, 2012

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