Posted in Challenges, Growing Up, Improving Self, Life

Songs that define me: Lover I don’t have to love

In high school, I was very depressed and knew self-harm was terrible to do. I wrote and listened to music. The music I listened to was sometimes questionable and other times it was the emotion behind the song or made me feel was the reason I would listen to it, such as Bright Eyes’s “Lover I don’t have to love.”

I picked you out 

Of a crowd and talked to you 

Said I liked your shoes

You said thanks can I follow you? 

So it’s up the stairs 

And out of view

No prying eyes 

I poured some wine 

I asked your name 

you asked the time

Now it’s two o’clock, 

the club is closed 

we’re up the block

Your hands on me 

I’m pressing hard against your jeans

Your tongue in my mouth 

Trying to keep the words from coming out

You didn’t care to know 

Who else may have been you before

I want a lover I don’t have to love 

I want a girl who’s too sad to give a f***

Where’s the kid with the chemicals? 

I thought he said to meet me here but I’m not sure

I got the money if you got the time 

You said it feels good I said I’ll give it a try

Then my mind went dark 

We both forgot where your car was parked 

Let’s just take the train

I’ll meet up with the band in the morning

Bad actors with bad habits 

Some sad singers 

They just play tragic

And the phone’s ringing 

And the van’s leaving 

Let’s just keep touching

Let’s just keep keep singing

I want a lover I don’t have to love

I want a boy who’s so drunk he doesn’t talk

Where’s the kid with the chemicals

I got a hunger and I can’t seem to get full

I need some meaning I can memorize

The kind I have always seems to slip my mind

But you but you 

You write such pretty words

But life’s no story book 

Love’s an excuse to get hurt 

And to hurt 

“Do you like to hurt?” 

“I do! I do!”

“Then hurt me.” [fades]

Listen to Lover I Don’t Have to Love by Bright Eyes on @AppleMusic.



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