…If procrastination isn’t about laziness, then what is it about?
Etymologically, “procrastination” is derived from the Latin verbprocrastinare— to put off until tomorrow. But it’s more than just voluntarily delaying. Procrastination is also derived from the ancient Greek wordakrasia —doing something against our better judgment.
“It’s self-harm,” said Dr. Piers Steel, a professor of motivational psychology at the University of Calgary and the author of “The Procrastination Equation: How to Stop Putting Things Off and Start Getting Stuff Done.”
That self-awareness is a key part of why procrastinating makes us feel so rotten. When we procrastinate, we’re not only aware that we’re avoiding the task in question, but also that doing so is probably a bad idea. And yet, we do it anyway.
“This is why we say that procrastination is essentially irrational,” said Dr. Fuschia Sirois, professor of psychology at the University of Sheffield. “It doesn’t make sense to do something you know is going to have negative consequences.”
She added: “People engage in this irrational cycle of chronic procrastination because of an inability to manage negative moods around a task.”
I never realized my procrastination issues and once I discussed with my therapist, I realized how true it is. Being ADHD and having depression, makes regulating negative emotions very difficult, and then you add procrastination and it’slike you cannot get anything done. Nothing can get completed; it’s all half-done stuff if you’re lucky.
“…No one can be a pillar of strength 24/7,” says Francoise Mathieu, a psychotherapist and specialist in an area known as “compassion fatigue,” in a TEDxQueensU talk. Compassion fatigue refers to the phenomenon of perpetual caregivers — whether familial or professional — becoming physically and emotionally depleted by the process of ministering to others. “One study found that family members caring for a loved one with dementia reported very high rates of depression,” says Mathieu. Canadian artist Tony Luciani, who spent years caring for his mother as she declined into dementia, describes feeling a sense of almost personal dissolution. The experience, he says, “threw my sense of being into random directions without reason or purpose.”
…Another long-term effect of compassion fatigue can be a diminished ability to feel empathy for the people you’re caring for. Some researchers have described it as a “secondary traumatic stress disorder,” which comes from prolonged exposure to the suffering of others. While it’s an understandable defense mechanism, it can leave many caregivers feeling guilty and frustrated. They may increase their use of alcohol or drugs, gain or lose large amounts of weight, or take an overall nosedive in wellness. In fact, 17 percent of caregivers report their physical health has gotten worse as a direct result of caregiving.
The longer that someone provides care — whether it’s for a partner, parent, sibling or some other loved one — the more likely they are to experience negative effects. Due to busyness and shame, many struggle in silence, which compounds the problem….
The more I read this, the more I realize that parenting is much the same, sans the illness, especially for stay-at-home parents because there is little relief much of the time.